i’m officially stupid…

January 11, 2007

Today i had a Math exam
my first one this term..and my first one at Alexandria Uni.
and i sucked … totally sucked
i had perfect circumstances ..
the course was easy .. it’s math for god’s sake
the exams was easy ..
i slept well..
the exam didn’t have any thing i didn’t solve before
and yet .. i sucked
didn’t solve even half of it
why? … don’t know why.
i knew how to solve the problems..
i knew the laws
and yet didn’t write a word

may be lack of self confidence.. don’t know
may be i’m just stupid..
don’t give me this crap about the Egyptian education sys. and this stuff.
again .. it’s Math for god’s sake.
i only cried three times in the life i remember
 once when my grandfather died
 2nd when i failed a year at college .. and i wasn’t crying because of that … i just couldn’t face my parent knowing i was neglecting every thing about college and the fact that i didn’t do the work.
 the third was today …i feel stupid .. very stupid
 i knew the answer and didn’t have the balls to write it … or  enough smartness !!
actually I don’t have anything special… i’m not very funny ..i’m not very handsome i’m not very anything
but i (thought) i was smart… now i’m just not.
i feel lower than the ocean’s bottom.
whatever self confidence that was left in me…
i just lost it today ….

ie:I’m writing in English because it makes things easier for me to say

5 Responses to “i’m officially stupid…”

  1. ahmEd_H said

    ليه يا بنى ماحلتش دى رياضة
    دى اكتر حاجة بحبها
    بس انت ممكن تكون ماحلتش كتير قبل كدا

  2. Sondos said

    عيله العوض ومنه العوض
    يلا يا ابني خيرها بغيرها، تعيش وتحكي لاولادك مغامرات الفشل في الامتحانات
    عيش يا ابني ولا يهمك

  3. yara said

    i see that you are making pig deal out of nothing…it’s the first shock
    first exam in the new place so first time .. you know first time’s stories.. it’s always failing
    so don’t give a damn
    just focous on the next exam and do your best
    and take care

  4. MeMo said

    i think you didn’t get the point right
    i wasn’t sad about the exam .. to hell with the entire thing
    and it’s not the first time .. i failed the whole year 2 years ago
    the thing is
    i didn’t study b4 so i failed
    this time i studied hard.. and it was math.. easy right
    i slept well .. everything was cool and good
    and still bardo ma7aletsh although i knew the answers..
    just didn’t right it
    i’m sad because the only answer to the question:
    Why the hell didn’t i solve it?
    was that there is sth wrong with me
    cause every thing else was working as planned
    got the point!!?

  5. Sondos said

    انا بتخيّل اني فهمت شوية اكتر
    بس كمان مرّة عليه العوض ومنه العوض
    ما تزعل ولا يهمك
    انت المرة الجاي اكيد رح تنجح اذا درست، عادة هيك بصير متل ما صار معك بالضبط
    عشان يطلع الانسان من دائرة الفشل في الامتحانات باخد وقت…..ش
    شو يعني بدك نحكيلك بدك نقولك روح عند طبيب نفسي افحص ليه انت تسبب لنفسك الفشل وماذا تربح من الفشل في الامتحانات وكل هذا الحكي الفاضي؟؟؟
    مرات الفشل بكون بسبب كمية كبيرةمن الاثارة والتوتر وبجوز انت كنت متوتر حبتين، لانك مبسوط على نفسك انك درست، بس هذا حكي محللين نفسيين يعني حكي فاضي، بس عن جد اسا قصتك بتذكرني في شخص كان يموت فيه ويحبني كتير ، وبس كان يشوفني كان يتوتر لدرجة انه ما يعرف يتكلم، كانوا صاحباتي شريرات وانا كمان كنت شريرة، عشان كنا نبدأ نضحك بس هو يبدأ يا حرام يتأتأ، فهو الاخ فشل في امتحان “الحب”من شدة الحب والاثارة. بس كمان عشان انا كنت شريرة
    فالاستنتاج انه انت متوتر وكمان “الامتحان “شرير

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